Okay, so work is a little crazy, and summer is here, which means new schedules and trying to stay on top of a lot of different thing.
Summer nanny is FABO, though - so that part is fine. :)
My usual 'break' time is reading research. I have two items that are totally unrelated, but important.
First is thanks to a reader sending it my way (thanks!).
According to this study, which breaks out types of drinking by teens, parenting style definitely does affect how heavily a teen will drink. Best case is scoring high on both warmth and accountability (knowing where your kids are, with whom, that whole 'I need to know where in space my child is, and with whom, even if not exactly what is happening' reaction, applied).
Parents who don't know where their kids are or with whom (but are high on warmth) fall in the hole that happens all the time - hugely higher rates of binge drinking. (almost triple the rate) And the strict but uncaring type still double the rate.
Knowing the metaparenting-related research, that fits in with a lot of other research. High expectations plus warmth tends to create positive behavior. High demand on the content of the relationship (that 'knowing who you are with/where' part, but also expecting communication and not letting things drop just because they're challenging to get through or face resistance) tends to combine well with a positive relationship to improve overall functional maturity.
This ties in a little with the research that shows that even thinking about someone who has good self-control improves one's self-control. (and vice-versa) Being in relationship with someone who is accountable and asks for accountability means you're more likely to respond with accountable/accountability oriented behavior. The modeling comes in at the neurological level.
Granted, peers who are accountability oriented is a big help, too.
There is other research that shows that with twins, the higher their sense of mutual dependence, the lower their risky sexual and alcohol behaviors. It's not just about them when they act, it is about how it affects the people they're bonded with. Feeling accountable is a two-way street, and a sense of being permanently embedded in that web of interaction, not just 'loved' but 'cared about', has a deep impact on the behaviors that result.
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