Random Milling

This is the new nickname for our family.

Mr G came up with it last night, as the title of a tv show about us.

I laughed until I almost peed myself. Because he said it, with dry humor, in the midst of:

a) ep coming home late from work because his train was delayed (he had walked in the door, kids flung themselves at his knees for hugs - yeah, he's tall).

b) kids trying to get their ice cream for dessert (since we're all Montessori-at-home-ish, they each got out a utensil, requested the ice-cream bowls that have not yet made it down to their reach range, got out their own ice cream from the freezer, and were setting up step-stools at the counter/stove area for self-serving in tandem - and have I mentioned that we have one of those narrow shotgun kitchens designed by an architect who clearly had never set foot in a kitchen - even after we gutted it and rearranged it as best we could, it still sucks for more than one person at a time, and there were SIX people in there).

c) me trying to clear up dinner.

d) ep also trying to get to his dinner.

Yeah, Random Milling was about right. Plus the noise... wow.

Making it funny was the best possible thing, since I was about to drown under it all. I went and ate my ice cream on the sofa, by myself, though. Phew. Breathing room.

Funny, how the self-knowledge helps. And funny how the lack of it has hindered me. I had figured I was way more introverted than I used to be - actually, for years, ep has been half-apologizing to me for turning me into an introvert - but I hadn't really accepted it. Accepting it has made a series of lightbulbs go off for me.

This is why I hate being a stay-at-home mom. Kids on me nonstop, all day, no peace, and the only way to get them to stop is to go out - er. Whee?

This is why I go nuts when things get noisy.

This is why I am prone to the sudden outbursts of AAARRRGGGHHH! - okay, being a Thinker instead of a Feeler plays into that (my feelings come out of nowhere all extroverty). I also have sudden outbursts of LOOOOOOVVVVVVVE, too - out of nowhere I have to go hug someone. It probably makes no sense to them at all. Funny, one of the things I hear a lot in response to my affection is 'where did that come from?' (wince)

It has been much easier to be more affectionate openly now that I'm paying attention to how I show my affection, too. I just assumed it showed more, and that my mom's comment that I'm the least demonstrative of her kids (affection-wise) was an anomaly to do with our relationship.

Huh. Maybe not.

I know I am better at affection with my kids (and ep), say it more, touch more, etc., because they've taught me that they need that. But it still had hitches, hiccups, and tight spots. It's easier now that I can see with the perspective inward that I'd been missing. And it's nice, too. I can find ways to make it work better for me, and them, too. Effective starts coming in better on this one, now that I have a little insight into my own function.

Anyway, that's us. Random Milling.

Only, please, no reality shows about our life. :shudder: Even if the title is pretty darn hilarious.

Comments

[Irene]

I recently took a couple of MBTI quizzes online, and I generally come out as INTJ or - probably more accurate - INTP. The strongest and most consisent part is that I'm an off-the-scale introvert.

And yeah: I hate noise, I need my space, I was THRILLED to go back to work after 3 months of staying home with a baby. And thrilled whenever the grandparents take her to their place for a weekend.

I think I am pretty good at being affectionate with my daughter, BUT being around her for any prolonged amount of time drains me, because she demands so much of my attention (she's 18 months old). It's not the physical contact but the amount of mental interaction demanded. I feel guilty admitting it, but I actually kind of like it when she's (mildly) sick and all she wants to do is snuggle up to me and zone out. I enjoy the cuddling and my mind is free to wander, that way.

I do worry that as she gets older and her emotional needs are, I guess, less obvious and direct than an 18 month old, I might not be demonstrative enough/ expressive enough.

[caramama]

Love the title! Way to go, Mr. G, for pulling out the joke when needed!

I learned a lot from the Raising a Spirited Child book as to how to deal with the I/E differences. I've realized over the years that I'm probably smack in between the I and E (making me an "X" apparently), and also that I and others often mistake my friendly, outgoing personality for being more of an extrovert than I am. I'm definitely working on how to manage my introverted needs, especially with my WAY extroverted daughter.

We're always a work in progress, aren't we?

[Tranq]

I'd have called it Browninan Motion. Mr. G's title works better, though. ;-)