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October 02, 2009



I'm sensing a fellow INTP/J ...




I always thought I was an F, too, because I can pick them out in other people and people love to come to me for me to give them my perspective on relationships and situations, but I don't actually want to deal with other people's feelings up close either. No one would ever, ever mistake me for an extrovert, though. :) I think this is an awesome journey you are on. Thanks again for sharing.


Well, I wouldn't beat yourself up so much by saying "I suck." We all make mistakes and have blind spots, and life is a constant process of improvement. In the same fashion--sure, we should all work on our acknowledged weaknesses. At the same time, I think analysis can sometimes be counterproductive. That is the place for self-acceptance.


That was me, smacking you upside the head.

You do not suck, and you know it. Wallowing is not permitted. You're human, you get to *BE* human, and humans are error-prone. You, very much less so than many. We're all quite sure you'll make maximum effective use of what you've learned.

Carry on smartly.

I am amused, however, to note that you're typed right smack in where I used to be. These days, I come in more INFP than INTP, but I'm familliar with where you are.

Katie B.

*hugs* Sucks to be handed a smack in the face by the universe like that, but we all need it from time to time.

Oh yes, and for the nth time, you do not suck!

On a completely different subject, I have a good friend who's trying to figure out what to do with her high spirited toddler who NEEDS gross motor movement. I referred her to you, since I seem to recall you've dealt with this? but I may be mistaken. Anyway, she's written to Moxie about it, but Moxie has been focused on other subjects lately... any ideas? Perhaps a post? (Please!) Thanks!


Well, sure you suck! You're what, 40ish and you still have things to learn about your ever-changing self? You're supposed to be done by now, jeez.

KIDDING in case it wasn't obvious. Reality is, you are awesome whatever your MB type, and however well you recognized it without detailed testing (that's why they do the testing, hello) :)

And, ahem, I'm an ENTP (the E and P are slight) in love with an INTJ (the I and J are not slight--he's a high tech product manager and he loves it and he's damn good). NTs are a very interesting core type with a lot to offer the world. One. Of. Us!!! :)

You know, just in case the opinion of some lady on the internet helps.


Thanks. I was only a little wallowing. Really.

Mostly it is my usual 'I suck' (which Tranq probably recognizes), which is more like a sigh and an eye-roll in my own direction, but with a bit of a core wince. (that I'll get over)

I'm mostly over it, really. Moving on!

Er, maybe it is mostly a comeback at my own overconfidence that I know who I am... yeah, comeuppance sucks! But off we go into another day, no?


Hedra, I am an INTJ, and I don't know you at all, but I have long assumed you were an NT of some stripe. I would have said NTJ, really. Why did I think this? Because your approach to parenting has resonated so strongly with me. Your logical problem-solving approach is what led me to seek out your blog after enjoying every one of your comments at Ask Moxie.

I really love your concept of people-as-problem. That really captures my approach as well. When I was a young adult I really took to heart the feedback I received regarding my "skip the emotional stuff, what are we going to do about the situation" approach. Over time I have become so much better at thinking (heh) about people's feelings and incorporating them into the problem-solving, but just as you say, it is people-as-problem, not people-first.


You know, Ts have so much to offer. I always read your Moxie comments for your particularly insightful and intense "Tness"!!!

It doesn't mean you are non feeling or not sensitive - it's just that you see the world first through the lens of thoughts rather than feelings. Right? We need Ts!!! Especially in this highly emotional world of parenting!


Yeah, well, I've been practicing the J skills for years - since I gave birth to a MAJOR J (Mr G), who would stand at the door and cry in despair because we had said we were going, and then it took us 45 minutes to finish getting things together that we'd fogotten... yeah, that'll teach ya to be J! The kid literally peed on schedule.

@Katie B, I'll try to post on it, but she can also email me.

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