Hands Full of Rocks: I do not have cancer

What I'm reading

Donald J. Leopold: Native Plants of the Northeast: A Guide for Gardening and Conservation
I'm always trying to go more native in my garden. This one is a good place to start. Important info in the details.
Mariane Pearl: A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband, Danny Pearl
Intensely painful to read as a mom, but I'm working my way through. If you ever get a chance to hear Mariane Pearl speak, go. She has an authentic voice, and that's a rare thing.

July 07, 2009

I do not have cancer

Or at least, the biopsy was clear. No signs of anything.

YAY.

I didn't realize how much I was holding my breath - even knowing that they'd have called sooner if there was something major. Past experience was finding out the bad news in person (good doctor, though, very good at handling words like 'malignant' - even though it wasn't malignant that time, either).

I also was really hesitant to mention anything to Work People. I usually have a ton of work friends (girl-wise) I can talk with about anything. Here, not so much in the girl friends. Guy friends. And uh, endometrium discussion is not on the plate.

But still told two of them. One my manager (ish - technically, he's not my manager, he just functions as my manager), one my friend (who I'd told at the time of the biopsy). Oh, and my project manager (female), who panicked when I said I'd be out for the afternoon (and we have a deadline) - but hey, I'm NOT skipping the meeting with the doctor on this one. She backpedaled on the commentary instantly when she had a chance to get accurate perspective.

Mostly, people are very happy with the news. I'm mostly just wanting to stop thinking about it. Unfortunately, having been not thinking about it as much as I usually do, I ended up with unprocessed stuff washing up while I was trying to work tonight.

Whee. I don't like scary. I don't like not knowing, either.

But now, scary is past - for the moment. I just am aware that scary will keep happening at an increasing pace as I get older. Long spans between, I hope. But with my mom dodging a melanoma recently (caught just before it started to move to the next level), and me with this, and ... it just reminds that life is fragile, and we only get so much of it.

I will still be waiting to find out if the procedure helped with the endometrial issue, or if I will need to take other action. But I don't know yet, and won't for a few cycles. Goodie, more waiting.

At least this is just annoying waiting. I'll take it.

Posted at 10:27 PM in perimenopause | Permalink