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April 17, 2009

Comments

caramama

Oh, hedra. I thought I had a bad day, but my child's crankiness was not nearly as bad as what your mom (and you) had to deal with!

I think talking of it terms of personality traits and types is brilliant. Because a lot of it really boils down to that. And it shouldn't be labeled as "good" or "bad," but just different. I was always told I was sensitive, since childhood. I know that some family members would roll their eyes at my sensitivity, but my mom always supported me and my emotions, and both my parents helped me learn to accept my sensitivity and still be able to interract with others without overreacting. So you are doing a good thing!

As for the other family, how they interpreted the situation is really up to them. It is important to consider how we act affects others, but a kid having a difficult time and acting out against strangers can be just that and nothing more.

And cubes can really suck sometimes. I'm always hearing the arguments between one of my coworkers and her husband over the phone(she shares a wall with me). My guess is that most people are understanding about it, though.

I hope that things smooth out soon!

Ashramama

Hi Hedra, sorry to be brief, but do you have any links/refs to the research you mention about serotonin levels and feeling like things are 'unfair'? thanks

Hope things have ironed themselves out...

hedra

@ashramama, I'll see if I can find the link - ep tore out the article reference for me a couple months back, I'll see if I can track it down (they used a tryptophan blocking mechanism in the study to reduce serotonin in circulation).

hedra

Here's a good overview that includes refs to a few studies that show the impact of serotonin on social behavior: http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=2527715

Meika

Holy Crap, Hedra - your description of Mr. G is an absolutely UNCANNY match for my husband. The whole taking forever to respond to a question, "thinking respectful thoughts doesn't equate with being respectful" (in our marriage that usually translates to an I'm-not-a-mindreader conversation)... wow. Very interesting. I love hearing the specifics of how you teach your kids to handle themselves - very helpful for me.

Niki

I'm new to your site (though I've loved your comments on Ask Moxie). I was wondering if you go into this regulation & disregulaton phase stuff elsewhere (the site search didn't turn anything up), and if you have any published sources I could seek out to learn more.

hedra

The Ames and Ilg book series "Your X Year Old" (your 2 year old, etc.) has this info.

There's also What's Going On In There? (I think that's in my parenting bookshelf, too), which has a lot of the neurological development stuff. I don't remember if they talk about the dysregulation specifically.

I have found it other places online, too, but I can't track it down right now - there has been too much research on dysregulation in emotion (as a pathological state) in the last few years. Sigh.

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