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November 06, 2008

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TodayWendy

I think it is extra hard because babies & toddlers have such different body shapes than adults, so you get used to the round bellies, and the gorgeous round cheeks, and the pudge on the legs. That's all normal. And then they start growing into more adult-style bodies, but they still have the extra large head (relative to body), and the round cheeks. It really doesn't surprise me that most parents think their kids are "normal". In face, I find it kind of reassuring...my mother spent most of my early life taking the cookies away because I was "getting fat", and my grandmother still tsks reprovingly at me while pinching my waist...and I'm not even remotely overweight.

Anne

@TodayWendy
I see LOTS of clients for weight issues, and it's not surprising how many of them had experiences like you described in their histories. Over time, adolescent rebellion set in, and at 45, they are 80 lbs overweight and still thumbing their nose (figuratively speaking) at their parents, chowing down on whatever they want, thank you very much, because they CAN. Fortunately, it's only an average of 5-6 sessions to reset that stuff, often for life.

When I'm out and about and I see parents doing the cookie snatch-and-holler, I a) cringe, b) feel grateful that I learned before my child was born how UNproductive that is and/or c) chuckle wryly about how a future client has just been created for me.

Anne

I should add that not all clients have that pattern. It's one of many. However, it's prevalent enough to be of note.

hedra

@TodayWendy, ouch! My FIL, who is a dear, kind-hearted, utterly sexist (trying really hard but doesn't get it) gentleman will note when I've lost weight with approval, and note gain with disappointment. Urg. Like he should care? But he still (despite many a smack-down from his wife) can't quite get past 'we measure women by their efforts on their looks, men by their accomplishments in business'. Sigh. So, while not quite so direct, same theme. Fortunately, my mom is a bit less fretful about that stuff - in part because pretty much all of my sibs were like my kids - they were more sure that they knew their own way of being than mom was that she knew it for us, and she learned. Sometimes the hard way, sometimes very late, but she learned that it wasn't hers to choose, but ours (and in many ways, she started out wanting to be exactly there, but it was still hard to not fall into that).

I do agree that it is hard to note when they're different than before. But the research also showed that there were some who thought their kids were under or overweight when the kids were spot-on normal, or reverse from what the truth was. So it's still out there, the total disconnect from reality.

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