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August 22, 2008



Good for him! He's a really great boy. You're obviously doing a great job!


yeah, well, yesterday he kept freaking out and screaming every time he didn't get his way, so...


I think "brave" is a skill, not a talent. Especially in that kind of context.


Brave can be both skill and tallent. Some people come by it naturally, some people learn it; but most do a bit of both.

I can remember my thoughts as I walked into a blazing ship-board storage room at the nozzle of a firehose, and wondering to myself "what the hell am I doing here?" - That day, brave wasn't a tallent, it was a skill. I was there because of discipline, and knowledge, and confidence in my abilities, and because I had other people that would be let down if I *didn't* go in.

Mr. B. was displaying different kind of skill - He compared the real to the ideal, and placing a value judgement on what he observed. From there he chose a course of action, and observed the results. He then did another comparison, and analyzed the results, complete with value judgements, and chose another appropriate course of action. Those are *skills.* The courage to accept the final conclusion? In this instance, yeah, it was a probably tallent. I don't think he though of it as 'brave' until you mentined it. BUT - Having your mother call you 'brave' is no bad thing, especially as he can (and will, no doubt!) analyze that label, and correctly conclude that you were using 'True' when you said that.


Yeah, I was thinking it was a skill - especially since his native tendency is to 'be with' or 'be together with'. He is a herd-animal, likes to be within a group, be a member, be buddies, etc. He has always had a tendency to follow, provided it didn't piss him off to do so. He's developing a lot more nuance to what pisses him off (or rather, he's more attuned to just feeling uncomfortable or unhappy about the situation, rather than having to be angry in order to feel confident breaking with the group).

I wish I'd highlighted that he's been working on that, learning it over time, refining it. Because for him, it definitely rings a lot of skills bells. But, tranq, I agree that the essential courage underneath is also part talent. There's a willfulness/willingness/determination thing that is essential to his nature, too. And also the opinionated thing - definitely holds his opinions strongly, that one! Those are talent.

The combination of skill and talent is powerful. But only with skill does one have a choice to change what is.

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