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August 06, 2008

Comments

Cathy

Kids are funny. I bet they surprise you.

I agree - it's a whole different ball of wax, since they know the kids, know the teachers, know the school. seperate does not equal alone. I was also wondering if they get to meet up for outside time or specials (music, PE, etc.) or lunch. So, even if they are separate for part of the day, they'd be together for some too.

hedra

More to the point is whether *I* surprise me. I don't think I'll be surprised by them doing just fine, even if I'm fretful about it - it's clearly my issue and not theirs. I think I'll be annoyed at myself for stressing out over it, though. And then I'll forgive myself for being human and we'll carry on to the next adventure.

And yes, they will have afternoons together, and I think recess.

Tranq

You're a big one for over-thinking. It's one of the most reliable things about you, and it serves you well, but you *do* need to put a leash on it now and again. ;-)

It really is a cut-to-the-case decision. Can you do it? Yup. Will the girls die if it doesn't work? Nope. Can you reverse the decision? Yup. Then go ahead and run the experiement. End of story.

But then, I tend to be a make-it-up-as-I-go kinda parent, and that's *my* process. My core presumption is that I will notice if my child isn't doing well, and will adapt or correct as needed. I presume success, even though I sometimes need to work pretty hard to ensure it (witness, Lin's math scores).

hedra

Well, really, we can't 'reverse the decision' unless it is a major hairy crisis, as the classes are fully booked. BUT, that was really what we were talking about on the 'not working out' level. Like, not something they can manage within the classroom. And I do trust them to manage it within the classroom (or by a walk over to the other classroom to see that their sister is there, present, accounted for - which is what Mr B did for ages with Mr G - he'd walk down to his classroom, get a hug and a hello, then go back to class).

And me, overthink? Naaaah.

Salexuel

hedra,

I've been so impressed with your ability (and desire) to research and synthesize information. Are there sources of information that you have found particularly useful as far as having twins goes? I have identical twin boys who will be two next month, and the twin/toddler/attendant-chaos and ever-changing relationships they have with each other, me, DH, etc. is, at times, a challenge. I thought I'd ask if there were any resources that you would recommend. Thanks. And thanks also for sharing your thoughts. They are appreciated :)

hedra

@Salexuel, the only book we really like is The Art of Parenting Twins. I don't have Karen Gromada's new edition of Mothering Multiples (came out recently), but that has more about the older ages than it had, I think, and I LOVED the book for preg/birth/infancy. If you're on the 'AP' spectrum at all (with twins this mainly means you think about their attachment function, and you make regular efforts to attend to their underlying needs), try apmultiples at yahoo groups. Just reading the archives is fabulous, but there's a bunch of people collapsing in despair over their 2-year-old twins right now, I think. ;) The group is quite rational, seldom has meltdowns over who is or is not AP (thankfully), has working parents, parents who don't cosleep, parents who didn't breastfeed, etc. - more philosophy oriented than checklist and label. Oh, and karen gromada posts there periodically, so you can get some seriously educated, experienced, thoughtful suggestions from her (as well as the experienced and thoughtful ones from others - but she's probably the most professionally educated about twins issues).

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