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« It isn't the cosleeping, it's the philosophy of parenting, silly! | Main | Research: Normal Parents are Optimal »

August 04, 2008

Comments

Maria Wood

I'm intrigued by what kind of room decor is going to involve large panels of plexiglass!

Cathy

Frankly, it's sort of an odd way to measure success. :^)

Sorry to hear about the injury, sounds like it'll make good "war stories".

Your ideas on caution/potential catastrophes is good food for thought.

hedra

Heh. It's a castle room, but there's some oddities to the space (the entire upstairs 'addition' - basically a shed roof pushed up on one side with two bedrooms and a bathroom added where an attic used to be - was built by drunk monkeys on crack, as far as we can tell). Two 'closet' spaces were put in that were relatively useless. The old linen closet was okay-ish, maybe, but the closet-closet was too narrow to hang hangers in. Seriously, they'd rub against both walls EVEN hanging at an angle. We ripped both out, as much as we could (they built them in oddly, so there's some parts we can't rip out), and so there are two little funky alcoves, one 'inside' the room, the other 'outside' (right angles to the doorway). To improve the light transfer from the window and hall (both ways), but protect privacy, we got some 3-form panels, which are sustainable product panels of plexiglass. One is a fleur-de-lis pattern, the other is a frosted brown, both will be installed as one of the walls of the 'outside' alcove. Issues of light transfer AND privacy, solved. Plus, cool factor... since the kids deserve to have a beautiful, interesting, pleasant place to live.

I love 3-form (http://www.3-form.com/). And bonus, we bought the panels from their overstock ('reclaim') listing, so they were cheaper than ordering direct. Still not super-cheap, but solves the problem, know how to work the materials, and so. dang. cooooool.

hedra

@Cathy, I don't know that I'm calling it 'success', LOL! Just return from one end of the abyss. Perhaps too far to the other end, really.

The main aspect that is 'success' is that he did actually learn from the experience, rather than just lumping it in as 'more reasons to be terrified of doing anything'.

Cathy

Here's the success that I see: 1. He didn't over-think the situation in the first place and made a regular goofy kid mistake and 2. You didn't "What the heck were you thinking?" him too much.

It does seem like a good jumping off point for brainstorming about when he should wear shoes, though. (like when taking the garbage out (12 year old with a roofing nail in his foot here. and it turns outo being barefoot was an advantage over wearing flip flops for that), doing heavy lifting, hiking, feeding the lions, interstellar travel, etc.)

hedra

Interstellar travel. He'll like that one.

We did do that brainstorming, actually. Shoes, when? How do you know when is a good time for shoes? But he's still not done classifying 'times and situations when my feet might be at risk'. And since he used to over-think every-blessed-thing, I agree that just doing usual stupid 10-year-old stuff was much better. I still would like him to internalize the 'what if' process more... but I also recognize that intuition is a process of accumulating many instances of data, and it will take time to accumulate enough to *know* when he doesn't know enough.

And you're right, for my success, NOT whapping him with the 'what were you THINKING?' stick was good! YAY! I so wanted to, right off. And I didn't.

caramama

So sorry about the injury! But it really is a normal kid thing to do. Goodness knows I did things like that, and I went barefoot everywhere I could (and got plently of beestings, which surprisingly didn't deter me from going barefoot).

The coming up with all the scenerios reminded me of one of the areas in How To Talk So Kids Will Listen... It's nice to hear it in real life use!

I'm working on not letting my hubby make everything out to be the worst case scenerio. We have an adventurous daughter, and we are trying to give her room to explore, but it's easy to worry--especially for him!

mezzaluna

what i've said often enough that my 3 year old has picked up on it is: "that makes me nervous." now when i hear him say it i come running to see what his 1 year old sister is up to.

i try to send the message that it's time to watch and be careful without shutting down the activity.

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