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July 11, 2008

Comments

Ashramama

Wow! you've just summed up my belief system in one single post. You are totally awesome.

hedra

That's me - good at summing up! (if it didn't take me quite as many words to do it, that might be better, LOL!) ;)

Cathy

We tend to use the Boy Scout law as our guidelines, "A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, curteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent." Mostly in our expectations of the kids, but now that I'm thinking about it, works from the parent side too.

hedra

@Cathy, most principles-based guidelines apply universally to children and adults - if you find them valuable for your kids, they're likely to be valuable for the parents, too.

I'm iffy on the obedience one (never was a compliant type) because I have too often been asked to be obedient by those NOT following the other rules listed - and I didn't have a filter for when to choose obedience and when to choose resistance, nor a way to measure whether obedience was in service of someone else's true need (including a greater good), or in service of their laziness, greed, cruelty, selfishness, or need for power over me.

Cathy

Obedient is a little something to me too. I tend to be skeptical by nature (and I like that about me), which makes obedient hard and it's hard for me to think of that as a good quality. So it does not come up very often in our house. I think the trick is to know when it's important (and it's hard to teach this).

The ones that we are usually running into are trustworthy, helpful, curteous, kind, brave and sometimes clean.

steph

Thank you for so succintly and accurately defining my belief system as well. I have been unable articulate this myself, for myself and also for my husband. We have similiar values, but I tend to say very little and he tends to say way too much. So this is a perfect balance between. We recently had the Safe, Respectful, Kind conversation which he (dh)took to immediately. I have been actively using it for awhile now and expect to hear it out of their mouths relatively soon as well...

Do you have a post in you related to toddler discipline? Would love to read your thoughts there. Thanks again.

steph

hedra

I'll work on it. I've got about 8 posts in me fighting for primacy... they're kind of tangled up and stuck.

Katie B.

Three times three is sacred, you know. Well, at least in my cosmology. :)

Excellent principles for relationships. Thinking about it, I think that's what I do, and have always tried to do.

Want to say more, but baby is fussing!

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